Tuesday, April 1, 2014

THIS BLOG IS NOW UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE GALACTIC EMPIRE


This blog has been confiscated by the Galactic Empire for failing to abide by multiple Imperial cyber laws. 

Imperial Edict OB-1KN3 - propaganda statements regarding the Jedi Order, a cult which attempted to overthrow the government and destroy peace by gaining full power.
Instances of this offense:
"one thing I love [...] is the Jedi Order"
"I've been fascinated by their culture and teachings, and most of my favorite characters are Jedi.  I love reading about them, lightsaber techniques, and the Jedi Way."
"I kind of like the Jedi."

Imperial Edict EP-2C4U - impersonation of an Imperial official.
Instances of this offense:
"Palpatine: Did you say Order 66?  *evil cackle*" 

Imperial Edict RA-1GD0 - propaganda statements regarding rebellion against the Galactic Empire.
Instances of this offense:
"Also in the Rebel Legion area. It's so cool..."
"Luke is so great"

Imperial Edict TS-7VI2 - defamation of high ranking Imperial officers.
Instances of this offense:
"So I'm definitely not crazy about [Panaka]"
"[Tarkin's] the guy I love to hate."
"Vader appears regretful of his past choices"
"Darth Vader's ship gets knocked away by Han"
"Palpatine is lying - he's been lying for a long time."
"[Palpatine's] not trying to make the galaxy a better place"
"Palpatine's charade of righteousness"
"I thought Vader had some vacuum cleaner in his helmet" 

His Excellency Emperor Palpatine gave these remarks regarding the New Imperial Cyber Protection Act:
The cyber world is one of our greatest sources of information, but so often this information is inaccurate, misleading, or outright lies. Our young people are significantly affected by this, and we owe it to future generations to give them an educational resource that is up-to-date, accurate, and beneficial to their lives as faithful citizens of the First Galactic Empire. Let us give them the tools they need to develop their world view in a safe environment, free from bias and falsehood.

Because the author of "In Western Lands" failed to uphold these principles, this blog will now be under control of the Galactic Empire. TK482 has been assigned to the maintenance of this blog and posting of Imperial-approved content so that the damage the previous owner caused may be reversed and readers may continue to be entertained.

-TK482



UPDATE: I've got my blog back! Apparently there are some good galactic lawyers out there. Here's a screen shot of the blog for the memories:


-Arda

7 comments:

  1. Hi TK482, if I may ask what have you done to the author of this blog? Brainwashing perhaps,
    Sincerely, Luke Skywalker.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello,
      Unfortunately, we do not currently have the resources to do any more than resign the blog to a different author. I will mention your suggestion to my commander.
      If you are THE Luke Skywalker, I'm supposed to tell you that your rebellion can't hide forever.
      -TK482

      Delete
    2. Oh, don't brainwash Arda. She's my friend!

      Delete
    3. Don't worry, it would all be a very standard procedure. The Empire prides itself on its efficiency.
      But yeah, probably not going to happen.
      -TK482
      P.S. If you happen to know anything about the location of the rebel base, please come forward immediately.

      Delete
  2. We miss the good old days...we miss taking the Short Blogger's blog. But now it has no blog to take, precious. At least our blog is safe.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Uh oh, I hope you haven't messed with my friend....
    (good idea for April Fool's! XD).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, nothing really happened to me, except they did give me some cookies. Probably trying to lure me to the dark side. But I'm still on the light! Though those cookies were pretty good... (thanks!)

      Delete