Les Pirates

Ahoy, mateys! It once again be our favorite day here at In Western Lands - it's Talk Like a Pirate Day! Don't forget ye landlubbers, use yer pirate lingo for me old self. Yo ho ho, that be the spirit! Ye can start by readin' the song I wrote for today! Sing it to the tune o' Do You Hear the People Sing.

Do ye hear the hearties sing?

Singing a shanty now and then

It be the music of a pirate

Who will pillage here again

When we look at all our charts

Thar be the place with highest sums

So grab a knife and hide your gold when the pirate comes!

Will ye join in our blockade,

Who will go pillaging with me?

Among our fine brigade

We will divide all the booty

So join in the fight that will make ye the fright of the sea!

Do ye hear the hearties sing?

Singing a shanty now and then

It be the music of a pirate

Who will pillage here again

When we look at all our charts

Thar be the place with highest sums

So grab a knife and hide your gold when the pirate comes!

Will ye give all ye can give

To make the Jolly Roger last

There's no need to hang the jib

If rival ships sail up too fast

Just load up the cannon and fire right into their mast!

Do ye hear the hearties sing?

Singing a shanty now and then

It be the music of a pirate

Who will pillage here again

When we look at all our charts

Thar be the place with highest sums

So grab a knife and hide your gold when the pirate comes!

 

Arrr, I hope ye liked it! A very happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to ye. Fair winds, mateys!

Bonus: Javert or Barbossa?

Scurvy Sherlock and the Piratey Scandal in Belgravia

Avast! It be that time o' year again, methinks! Aye, it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Don't forget to use yer "savvys" and yer "yo ho ho's" today! Thinkin' o' last year, we be doin' another script 'ere to celebrate! This time we 'ave from BBC's Sherlock, Buckingham Palace: Pirate Edition!

(Long Jawn Silver enters to see Scurvy Sherlock sitting wearing only a sail wrapped around his body. He shrugs and sits down beside him.)

Long Jawn Silver: Ye be wearing knickers?

Scurvy Sherlock: Nay.

(They are silent, then start giggling.)

Long Jawn Silver: At Buccaneer Palace, fine. Arrr, I be fightin' an urge to commandeer an ashtray. What be we a'doin' here, Scurvy Sherlock? Mayhaps 'ere to see a bonny lass?

(First Mate Mycroft enters.)

Scurvy Sherlock: Aye, that be true!

First Mate Mycroft: Just once, can't ye scallywags act piratey?

Long Jawn Silver: Arr, we sails the high seas, I keep me log, 'e forgets his knickers. I wouldn't have a prayer, laddie.

Scurvy Sherlock: I be in the middle of pillage, First Mate Mycroft!

First Mate Mycroft: There be little booty, ye must've known.

Scurvy Sherlock: Aye, crystal clear.

First Mate Mycroft: Then ye need a new pillage.

(Picks up clothes from table.)

First Mate Mycroft: We be in Buccaneer Palace, the heart of the Brethren Court. Scurvy Sherlock, put yer breeches on!

Scurvy Sherlock: Belay that.

First Mate Mycroft: But yer client?

Scurvy Sherlock: Who be that?

Quartermaster (entering): I 'ave to tell, ye, 'e be anonymous.

First Mate Mycroft: Arrg, I apologize fer me wee brother.

Quartermaster: A right bilge rat, I assume. And ye must be Long Jawn Silver, former captain o' the HMS Shire.

Long Jawn Silver: Ahoy, aye.

Quartermaster: And Scurvy Sherlock. Ye look taller on yer wanted posters.

Scurvy Sherlock: Aye, by keepin' me good hat and me short matey. (He glances at Long Jawn Silver and turns back to First Mate Mycroft.) Yarr Mycroft, I need to know me clients. No landlubber be hiring me. Gangway!

(Scurvy Sherlock walks away but Fist Mate Mycroft steps on his sail, keeping him from leaving.)

First Mate Mycroft: This be vital to the Brethren Court! Grow up!

Scurvy Sherlock: Get off me sail!

First Mate Mycroft: Or what?

Scurvy Sherlock: I sail without it.

First Mate Mycroft: I'll let ye.

Long Jawn Silver: Arr mateys, there be a time and a place.

Scurvy Sherlock: Who is me client?

First Mate Mycroft: Use yer head, figure it out. Now blimey! Put yer clothes on!


The Sherlock screens be from here and Scurvy Sherlock's hat from here. Thanks for reading mateys, and fair winds to you lot!

First Mate Mycroft via twitter

The Pirates of the Ring

Ahoy, me followers! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Today's the day to bring out all o' those piratey words ye have picked up and shout "Arr" to the world! To celebrate the occasion, I have here a script o' sorts - I give ye, The Council of Elrond: Pirated Edition!

Captain Elrond: Avast ye seadawgs, mateys of old. Ye be summoned here to meet the threat o’ Mordor. Ye’ll unite or ye’ll go down to Davy Jones’ Locker. Each race be bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Nine-fingered Frodo. (Nine-fingered Frodo places the Ring among the pirates.)

Barnacle Boromir: Shiver me timbers, it be true! In a dream, I saw the starboard side grow dark but on the port side a pale light lingered. A voice was crying: ‘Your doom be near at hand. Isildarr’s Bane be found…Isildarr’s Bane… (He nears the Ring.)

Captain Elrond: Blimey!

Gandalf Greybeard: Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Drink and the devil had done for the rest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum…

Captain Elrond: Arr, never ‘as a soul spoken those words ‘ere, Gandalf Greybeard.

Gandalf Greybeard: I isn’t askin’ for your pardon, Captain Elrond, for the Black Speech o’ Mordor may yet be heard in the four corners of the Earth! The booty be altogether evil.

Barnacle Boromir: Belay that, it be a gift! Why not use this Ring? Long has me dad, the Quartermaster o’ Gondor, kept yer waters safe from the brigands o’ Mordor! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!

Arragorn: Ye can’t wield it! None of us can. The One Ring be answering to Scurvy Sauron alone. It has no other captain, savvy?

Barnacle Boromir: And what would a landlubber know of this?

Arragorn: Don’t do anything stupid…

Long-legged Willy: (Jumps up.) Arr, this be no mere landlubber. He be Arragorn, son of Arrathorn.

Barnacle Boromir: Arragorn? Well blow me down! This… be Isildarr’s heir?

Long-legged Willy: Aye, and ‘is granddad be the Captain o’ Gondor.

Arragorn: Sit down, Long-legged Willy!

Barnacle Boromir: Gondor has no Captain. Gondor needs no Captain.

Gandalf Greybeard: Arragorn be right. We cannot use it.

Captain Elrond: You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed.

Gangplank Gimli: What be we a’waiting for? ARRR!! (Gangplank Gimli attacks the Ring.)
Captain Elrond: Belay that! We can’t be destroying the Ring that way, Gangplank Gimli, son of Grog Gloin. The Ring was made at the world’s end. Only there can we destroy it! It must be taken up to the crow’s nest o’ Mordor and cast deep in to the sea. One of ye must do this.

Barnacle Boromir: One does not simply sail into Mordor. Its black gates be guarded by more than just bilge rats. There be evil there that does not take sleep. And the great deadlight be ever watchful. Not with ten thousand buccaneers could ye do this. It be folly!

Long-legged Willy: (Jumps up.) Have ye heard nothing Captain Elrond has said? The Ring has to go to Davy Jones!

Gangplank Gimli: (Jumps up.) And I suppose ye think ye can do it?!

Barnacle Boromir: And if we fail, what then?! What happens when Scurvy Sauron takes back his booty?!

Gangplank Gimli: I will walk the plank ‘fore I see the Ring in the hands of a scallywag!

Gandalf Greybeard: Do you not understand that while we bicker among ourselves, Scurvy Sauron’s power grows?! None can escape it! (They argue.)
Ring: Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Drink and the devil had done for the rest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum…

Nine-fingered Frodo: (Stands up.) I’ll be taking it! I’ll be taking it! I’ll take the Ring t’ Mordor. Though I do not know how t’ hoist the sails.

Gandalf Greybeard: (Goes over to Nine-fingered Frodo.) I will help ye on yer voyage, Nine-fingered Frodo, so long as it be yours to sail.

Arragorn: If by me life or death, I can protect ye, I will. Ye have me cutlass.

Long-legged Willy: And you have me pistol!

Gangplank Gimli: And me cannon!

Barnacle Boromir: Ye be carryin’ all our fates, lad. If this be the will o’ the council, then Gondor be seein’ it done.

One Eyed Sam: (Appears.) Avast! Mr. Frodo’s not goin’ anywhere without me!

Captain Elrond: Nay, it be nigh impossible to separate ye, even when he be summoned to a secret council and ye be not.

Merry Morgan and Pegleg Pippin: (Run in.) Wait! We be comin’ too!

Merry Morgan: Ye’d have to feed us to the fish to stop us!

Pegleg Pippin: Anyways, ye need sailors o’ intelligence on this sort o’ pillage…voyage… thing.

Merry Morgan: Well that be ruling ye out Pip!

Captain Elrond: A crew o’ nine… So be it! Ye shall be the Pirates of the Ring!

Pegleg Pippin: Great! What be our heading?


Yo ho ho, what a tale that be! Thanks to me dad for the original idea, and to me brother for namin', suggestin', and proofreadin' the script. Twas originally copied from Council of Elrond before being translated into pirate. Hope ye all enjoy, and fair winds!

SOPA, PIPA, and Pirates of the Caribbean

The proposition of some members of the United States Congress to combat internet piracy by censoring certain websites has caused an uproar among many frequent users of the internet, but some argue that these measures will help prevent theft and the sale of illegal goods.  In order to avoid any political confrontations, In Western Lands (hereafter known as In Western Lands, Western Lands, IWL, and The Page with Words on It) has decided to publicly and temporarily claim neutrality, and declares that any statements made by employees of In Western Lands (including, but not limited to, Arda) do not in any way reflect the thoughts or opinions of In Western Lands.  Although such a stand has been taken, The Page With Words on It still wishes to present you with a balanced and politically correct report featuring the opinions of individuals on all sides of the debate.

Sparrow opposes the anti-piracy bill.

PORT ROYAL - In Western Lands stopped to chat with Commodore James Norrington and Lord Cutler Beckett.  Both have spent a considerable amount of time trying to rid the seas of pirates, and they agree that similar action must be taken on the internet.

"Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them," said Norrington, speaking of those who upload copyrighted material onto the internet.  "I intend to see to it that any man who breaks the law in such a fashion gets what he deserves."

Lord Beckett agrees, and he believes that although there will be opposition, the bill still has a good chance of passing.  "The pirates know they face extinction.  All that remains is where they make their final stand."

Predictably, those who would be in danger of being shut down are strongly against the bill.  We asked a worried Joshamee Gibbs his thoughts on what SOPA would mean for him.

"It's bad," he said.  "Bad for every mother's son who calls himself a pirate."

With Gibbs was his associate, Captain Jack Sparrow.  Captain Sparrow is also against SOPA, saying that it would take away from the freedom of the those who use the internet.

"It's not just URLs, and flash, and HTML, that's what a website needs, but what a website is, what the internet really is, is freedom."

While Captain Sparrow would prefer that the bill does not pass, he says that it wouldn't be a completely negative outcome for him.  He is already developing software to keep from being censored, and once all the other offending sites are shut down, he will be able to gain everyone's buisness.

"I rather like that idea," Sparrow said.  "Captain Jack Sparrow: The Last Internet Pirate."

Unfortunately, our interview of Captain Sparrow was cut short by the sudden entrance of Commodore Norrington who attempted to arrest the captain.  The two ran from the room before any more questions could be asked.

Not all have such strong opinions.  Captain Hector Barbossa stated that he would not give an opinion until after Congress votes on the anti-piracy bill, an action that was recently postponed.  When asked why he would wait, Barbossa only said, "Where's the harm in joining the winning side?"

Mr. Cotton is another man undecided as to his position, or so we inferred.  His parrot spoke for him, telling us, "Shiver me timbers!"  Gibbs told IWL that it means, "I like grilled cheese."  We are not convinced, but finally concluded that such a statement shows a lack of opinion on the matter.

Nevertheless, many do have strong opinions on SOPA and IWL encourages its readers to be cordial to those who may have opinions different from their own, unlike Sparrow and Norrington, who ran through the room even as Cotton's parrot was speaking.  While Norrington was chasing Sparrow with his sword drawn, Sparrow was calling behind him, "This is the day you will always remember as the day that you almost caught, Captain Jack Sparrow!"

Article on FoxNews.com used as a reference.  The thoughts and opinions expressed do not necessary reflect the opinions of In Western Lands or its employees.  Pirates of the Caribbean is owned by Disney and IWL lays no claim to the characters and quotes taken from the films.  This article is a work of fiction and any resemblance to people, places, or parrots, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.  Please don't sue us.

I Can Has Smiles?

I've been kind of tired/busy today and don't think I could write a great post right now, so here are some cute/funny pictures from icanhascheezburger.com.  This is such a fun site, and easy to waste time on (especially at night when you don't want to go to bed...and no, that's not to blame for me being tired today...entirely).

Any dream will do...

Wonder how many bars you can get in Catlantis?

This makes me think of "Pick-a-little, Talk-a-little."  I love words like tomfoolery.

Trussssst in me, jusssst in me.  Close your eyes, and trusssst in me...

Perhaps these two are conspiring together!  Excellent...stop repeating everything I say!

D'awwwww!  Anyone have a caption for this one?

We takes the precious!  Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

Those poor toes never had a chance.

We ned 2 get u somb roller-sk8s.

 A useful pot to put things in!

GETITOFFGETITOFF!!!

Hope you've had a good Monday!

Just Like You (a music tag)

Jedi~Chick tagged her followers!  I love these things!


Here are the rules:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 20 friends. I tag my followers and whoever wants to do it!
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. No classical or Christmas music, or music in other languages.
7. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
The Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana
Guess my "two worlds" are going well...?

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home by Hannah Montana
My roots. :)


HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Yo Ho (A Pirates Life for Me) by Disney
I'm a pirate! XD

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Liberty's Kids theme by Aaron Carter and Kayla Hinkle
Rebellious boys, huh?  Um, maybe...*blush*


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Larry-Boy by Veggie Tales
I certainly do not feel like a super hero today! XD


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Pink Oliphaunts Elephants on Parade by Disney
My purpose is to parade?  Or lead elephants?  Or run from them?


WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
The Silly Song (Dwarf's Yodel Song) by Disney
I do enjoy being silly :)


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Grumpy Kids by Veggie Tales
Whaaaa?


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Seventy Six Trombones from The Music Man
I'm pretty sure my parents don't think I'm loud...maybe because I like music?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little & Goodnight Ladies from The Music Man
I guess I think about the song a bit...and about talking...





WHAT IS 2+2?
Jonah Was A Prophet by Veggie Tales
That is incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial! ;)


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything by Veggie Tales
No!  My best friends do things!  And they aren't pirates...though we may talk about them. ;)


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Siamese Cat Song by Disney
Obi-Wan is a cat...apparently.


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
What's This? by Disney
I do ask lots of questions! 


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I Have Confidence from The Sound of Music
Yes!  I want confidence!  I also want to be Julie Andrews...


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Elven Council by Palpatine (I arranged this...no seriously XD)
No, I do not tend to think of Palpatine.  Or council given by elves.  (I can't believe that song came up...)


WHAT WILL YOU DO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The Eagle's Song by The Tolkien Ensamble
Not sure if it's a wedding song, but I love this song!  (Glad it didn't come up for funeral...that would have been bad...)  Maybe it means we'll sing!  Which we will definitely do. :)


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Beauty and the Beast by Disney
Um...I guess that's ok.


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Second Chances by Veggie Tales
Yep, that's my hobby...XD


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? by Disney
Guess that's my fear and I'm pretending it's not there.  Oh no, it's a wolf!  RUN!!!


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof
I'm not just into my books, but want a match.  Um... *blush*  But I don't want a match exactly...um, MOVING ON!


WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Love my Lips by Veggie Tales
XDDD 


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Ugly Bug Ball by Disney
O_O  NO WAY!!!  All my friends are beautiful!  Geez, of all the songs to come up...


WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Can't Believe It's Christmas by Veggie Tales
But I love Christmas!  And not believing it isn't too bad as I think it's happened before...


WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Something There by Disney
So there was something between me and someone...?


WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Water Buffalo Song by Veggie Tales
Yeah, I suppose it does!


WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Gorky's Zygotic Mynci by Disney (it's about Canada I think)
Actually when I had it playing earlier it was kind of touching.


WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Look Olaf by Veggie Tales
I'm marrying Olaf?  Noooo thanks...


WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? 
What Have We Learned? (Bamboo version) by Veggie Tales
The song scares me!  Not really. XD



DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Old Walking Song, The Road..., Reprise by The Tolkien Ensamble
Love the song, but it doesn't make any sense!



IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
My Own Home by Disney
I don't think I'd change it. :)



WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
At -lotr character-'s Death by The Tolkien Ensamble (spoiler averted!)
It doesn't hurt now, but it is sad.



WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO SAY TO THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU?
I Wan'na Be Like You (The Monkey Song) by Disney
I'd love to be like Jedi~Chick. :)



WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE?
Just Like You by Hannah Montana
Ok!


How fun and silly and crazy. XD  I'm breaking my decision to not use smilies in posts for this one as it's not too "official" or anything. :)  Hope you enjoyed my...interesting selections and the look into my Disney/Veggie Tales infested music library!

[update 4/29/14 - I closed comments on this because I've been getting spam on this post in particular. Likely no one will read back this far anyway, but there's the explanation if anyone wants it :) -Arda]