Whodunit - April Fools

I'm Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective. You may remember the previous post I made here. I return because once again, Arda has been an idiot. Oh, I can see her face reading this, don't be like that.

You think she would have learned after the Gollum incidents, but she left her computer logged into blogger and someone has made some changes, obviously.

What's more is that I have reason to believe that they took control earlier this week, Monday if my deduction is correct (it is), and only now showed it (or it was only just noticed, because really, who would read this blog anyway?).

From the design, I have narrowed the suspects down to three - Jim Moriarty, Irene Adler, and Sebastian Moran. Naturally, the next step was to find out what they were all doing at the time of the hacking.

First I spoke to Lord Sebastian Moran, who without knowing the exact day in question says he can account for his whereabouts Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday, he was in meetings all day with several witnesses. Regarding Monday, he said "my wife dragged me to a show with her mother. I don't like spending the money, but it was my mother-in-law's 80th birthday. Never again. It was a waste of good money. I gave the fellow at the box office a hundred dollar bill for those tickets and didn't even get a penny of change. It was highway robbery." He also said he had the ticket stubs at home if I wanted proof.

By some coincidence (or perhaps an unrelated plan I will soon uncover), Irene Adler also went to the same theater that night with, according to Mycroft "two illustrious, anonymous associates." Apparently wanting to keep a lower profile than Moran, they sat in cheaper seats, though they didn't keep their ticket stubs. Irene said one of the ushers would remember her and the mix-up they had with their seats. Their seat numbers were M 3, 4, and 5, but there were three old ladies sitting in them and they didn't want to move. An usher got them to move up to seats 6, 7, and 8. "Even if the usher doesn't remember," Irene said, "there was a big fuss during the second act when I lit a cigarette. A kid sitting next to me told me smoking wasn't allowed. I told her parents to keep their rotten brat at home next time. They'll remember me, even if the usher doesn't." Though I'm not sure who wouldn't remember her.

 

Thinking there must be some conspiracy between the three, I asked Moriarty if he had also been at the theater. "No, don't be boring," he told me. "I was home all evening. I watched Glee on Netflix until the 11 o'clock news came on. Then I checked my diary for the next day, read for a while, checked my cameras, put out the lights, and went to bed. All alone. Can't prove it, Sherlock."

More questions are called for, but I'm far too busy with a more important case today. I need you to determine who I should investigate further. Comments and questions will be answered normally except those containing solutions. These I will review and post tomorrow along with an explanation for those who did not solve it (probably most of you, though Arda thinks you can).

Good luck.
-Sherlock Holmes.

---

Update: ANYONE?! John would at least give it a try. Even if he missed everything important. Fine, Arda is too busy with her dull job to change her blog back anyway so I will give you a week to solve this before I explain my deduction. -SH

Sherlock Replies to Spam

source

I received several anonymous comments on my previous post (and on other posts in the past) that were clearly unrelated and existed only to promote different websites. Since he is not on a case at the moment, Sherlock offered to reply as he attempts to stave off boredom.

Hey there! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be ok.
I'm definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.

Feel free to visit my page ...  *link removed*

No, I do not use twitter. As John already stated on his blog, any twitter accounts claiming to be mine are fake.
Observation has revealed that those who suggest they appreciates someone's work before showing they are only looking for personal gain are insulting. I suggest you do not try this again.
-SH

(on previous Mini Reviews post)
Thanks for the suggestions you have discussed here. Something
else I would like to state is that pc memory needs generally rise along with other advances in the engineering.
For instance, any time new generations of cpus are introduced to the market, there's
usually a corresponding increase in the type eferences of all computer memory and hard drive space.
This is because software program operated by these processors will
inevitably rise in power to use the new engineering.

Also visit my weblog :: *link removed*

You started out brilliantly! If only you talked about the actual suggestions in the post! However, you gave it a valiant attempt and I applaud you.
-SH

I think that everything said made a bunch of sense. But,
what about this? what if you typed a catchier title?
I ain't suggesting your information isn't solid., but suppose you
added something to maybe grab folk's attention? I mean "We're Back,
Precious!" is kinda vanilla. You ought to look at Yahoo's front page and note how they create post headlines to grab viewers interested. You might add a video or a picture or two to get people interested about what you've got to say. Just my opinion, it would bring your posts a little livelier.

Review my blog *link removed*

This post was written by Gollum, so when you say that everything made "a bunch of sense", I assume you are joking.
It should be "I am not", not "I ain't". "But what about this?" with no comma. Do not use a comma immediately following a period in such a sentence. "Kind of". "Grab viewers' interest". "It would make your posts a little livelier".
Why do I even bother?
-SH

(old music meme post)
Right here is the perfect blog for anybody who wishes to understand this topic.
You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want
to…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject which has been written about for a long time.
Excellent stuff, just excellent!

Here is my weblog: *link removed*

Oh yes, because a post about the blogger's questionable taste in music is a topic we all wish to understand. If you were to say it is almost hard to argue with Arda, almost would be the key word. At time she will be stubborn about the most trivial things, but will crumble on important topics with the right pressure. All of which are observations I am sure an ordinary commenter could learn from simply reading her blog.
Or perhaps not.
Also, it was a completely unoriginal post with a style she copied from another blog.
-SH

I seldom leave a response, but I looked at a few of the comments here "Chatting + Middle-Earth Favorites".
I actually do have a few questions for you if it's allright. Could it be just me or does it look like some of these responses look as if they are left by brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are writing at additional online sites, I'd like to
follow you. Could you list of the complete urls of all your public
pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

my web site *link removed*

If you were speaking of "brain dead folks" commenting on John's blog, I might be inclined to agree with you. I believe that Arda would be slightly more appreciative if you commented on her content, rather than insulting the individuals she associates with.
She also said I am not allowed to call you the brain dead folk on her blog.
Again, not on twitter.
Please use spell check.
-SH

Amazіng! Thiѕ blog looκѕ just like my оld one!

It's on a completely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!

My site: *link removed*

Amazing! What a conincidence! Especially considering the layout is completely ordinary and very little is changed from the default on this blogging platform.
-SH

Nice blog here! Also your site a lot up fast! What host are you the use of?
Cann I get your affiliate link in your host?
I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

Here is my page: Loanbs for poor credit [*link removed*]

I can only imagine that English is not your first language.
You have greatly intrigued me about these "loanbs" you offer. Please, tell me more!
Also, I ask you to refrain from using the acronym "lol". Arda does not need any encouragement.
-SH

Although Leading 14 Hack into Leading 14 footballing
director Bridal party compromise major 14 crack turbine might be a
large within adult males, will it be a new dwarf amongst plan. Others can find the exact programs
they need by shopping at the same retailer where they bought their systems.
If a human being can do it, our software application can do it (therefore its name).

Here is my site; *link removed*

Words fail me.
-SH

I also saw a few comments that included links to private detectives. If any of you are in need of a consulting detective, you can visit my website, The Science of Deduction, or contact me through The blog of Dr. John H. Watson. Don't be boring.
-Sherlock Holmes

Stormtrooper post #1

I don't know why we have to do this. No one oversees the posts, no one really cares about this division, no one really reads the blogs once we take them over, and it's just more work for us.

So...

I'm so bored.

What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your wrist chronometer?
Time to get a new wrist chronometer.

Why should you never tell jokes on the Millennium Falcon?
The ship might crack up.

Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
Because he's always making new friends.

You guys know any jokes?

I hit my head on a doorway this morning and it still hurts. Blast these helmets and lack of peripheral vision.

Hey look, I took a selfie:

These filters are awesome.

This job may be boring but at least there's good coffee in the break room. Out of cookies though. You all like to joke about "Dark Side" cookies, but the Empire does provide some really tasty treats.

Uh, what was that noise? Something just fell behind me.

Eh, it's probably just a drill.

Imperial regulations state that this post must be at least 200 words long so I'm just going to write a little longer so I can reach the word count that this post must be as dictated by Imperial regulations that I must follow so I can keep my job. You know, in addition to keeping the galaxy in order.

Okay reached 200+ words! Goodbye to all the people that probably aren't reading this anyway.

-TK482

THIS BLOG IS NOW UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE GALACTIC EMPIRE

This blog has been confiscated by the Galactic Empire for failing to abide by multiple Imperial cyber laws. 

Imperial Edict OB-1KN3 - propaganda statements regarding the Jedi Order, a cult which attempted to overthrow the government and destroy peace by gaining full power.
Instances of this offense:
"one thing I love [...] is the Jedi Order"
"I've been fascinated by their culture and teachings, and most of my favorite characters are Jedi.  I love reading about them, lightsaber techniques, and the Jedi Way."
"I kind of like the Jedi."

Imperial Edict EP-2C4U - impersonation of an Imperial official.
Instances of this offense:
"Palpatine: Did you say Order 66?  *evil cackle*" 

Imperial Edict RA-1GD0 - propaganda statements regarding rebellion against the Galactic Empire.
Instances of this offense:
"Also in the Rebel Legion area. It's so cool..."
"Luke is so great"

Imperial Edict TS-7VI2 - defamation of high ranking Imperial officers.
Instances of this offense:
"So I'm definitely not crazy about [Panaka]"
"[Tarkin's] the guy I love to hate."
"Vader appears regretful of his past choices"
"Darth Vader's ship gets knocked away by Han"
"Palpatine is lying - he's been lying for a long time."
"[Palpatine's] not trying to make the galaxy a better place"
"Palpatine's charade of righteousness"
"I thought Vader had some vacuum cleaner in his helmet" 

His Excellency Emperor Palpatine gave these remarks regarding the New Imperial Cyber Protection Act:
The cyber world is one of our greatest sources of information, but so often this information is inaccurate, misleading, or outright lies. Our young people are significantly affected by this, and we owe it to future generations to give them an educational resource that is up-to-date, accurate, and beneficial to their lives as faithful citizens of the First Galactic Empire. Let us give them the tools they need to develop their world view in a safe environment, free from bias and falsehood.

Because the author of "In Western Lands" failed to uphold these principles, this blog will now be under control of the Galactic Empire. TK482 has been assigned to the maintenance of this blog and posting of Imperial-approved content so that the damage the previous owner caused may be reversed and readers may continue to be entertained.

-TK482

---

UPDATE: I've got my blog back! Apparently there are some good galactic lawyers out there. Here's a screen shot of the blog for the memories:

-Arda

Riddles in the Dark - Gollum's blog!

I don't need Gollum invading my blog anymore, so he and I worked together to create him one of his own! He writes and I moderate, just to make sure things stay friendly. ;) Please check out riddlesinthedarkblog.blogspot.com!

We're Back, Precious!

source

Yes, yes! We have guessed the short blogger's password again! We has the blog! Hee hee hee hee!

Smeagol is the master now. Smeagol can do what he wants. Fish, yes we wants fisssh!

The short blogger can't complain this time! Smeagol will be a good blogger and post on the blog, not wait a long, long time without posting! It wants Smeagol to run the blog, doesn't it? Of course it does, precious.

We have worked very hard, yes so very hard precious. Planning, always planning! We wants to make our blog good. Good Smeagol! So we has a posting schedule. Look, look! And if it has any "feedback"...we likes our posting schedule. No, no changing.

Smeagol Story Sundays (Smeagol tells a story!)
Music Mondays (Smeagol sees many bloggers do this)
Tricksey Tuesdays (How to trick nasty hobbitses!)
We Hates It Wednesdays (People we hates! Especially Bagginses!)
Trust Us Thursdays (Smeagol gives advice)
Fissh Fridays (FISSSH! Raw and wriggling!)
Sneaky Saturdays (Shh! It's sneaky so it can't know what it is, precious!)

We start now! Today is Monday...so music! Yes precious, nice music!

Maybe it would like to hear Smeagol sing? Yes, yes it would! We has a video of us singing I Dreamed a Dream, yes we do. Our beautiful voice! Listen! Listen! We puts our heart into this song.

Hee hee hee hee! We must go prepare more posts! Gollum, gollum. May the precioussss be with you!

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what the blog looked like on this day

Bilbo Baggins on The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

councilofelrond.com

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS for The Hobbit.
Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit of The Shire and an elf-friend. He recorded an account of his famous adventures in his memoir There and Back Again, which was translated by J.R.R. Tolkien and has sold millions of copies worldwide.

I was quite looking forward to seeing this adaption of my book and I must say it did not disappoint! Of course quite a bit was changed from my memories of the adventure, but the film was quite enjoyable. For one, the locations are beautiful. The country they use to represent Middle-Earth, New Zealand was it? has remarkable landscapes that I must say do my land justice. The sets they build, such as Bag-End and Rivendell, are quite good, and I hear that many fans are happy to see them again after the Lord of the Rings films and "come home" in a manner of speaking.

Martin Freeman did an excellent job portraying me, I thought. Not only did he bear a good resemblance to me in my younger days, but he also provided a fairly accurate representation of me back then. I laugh to see how distraught he (I) was at all of the dwarves coming to tea! Yes, the old Bilbo Baggins didn't like surprise visitors, but now I always look forward to visits from my old companions.

The movie Thorin was a bit different, perhaps more likable for those who do not know him, but still showed his importance. His motivations are changed from the simple want for gold to wanting to help his people, and although it was not a focus in my book, I'm sure the thought of winning back their home did not escape the real Thorin.

His rivalry with Azog was quite interesting, and I am quite glad he never actually attacked our company! We had plenty of adventures without him! For that part of the story, I am quite in the dark. How strange it was to sit in the theater on pins and needles, knowing the outcome and being quite safe, but still wondering if 'we' would survive our encounter!

Unlike my book, the film also showed many of Gandalf's dealings during our adventure. It was nice to see Radagast the wizard in it, as I have never met the fellow, and understand a bit more of just what Gandalf was up to when he wasn't with us. He told me a bit, and described an encounter with Radagast during the Council, but seeing it made it much more real.

I must credit the filmmakers on their research! While the story of the Bullroarer is common knowledge in the Shire, not as many outside know of it. Also I believe I never mentioned that the spiders were from the line of Ungoliant in my book, did I? I've forgotten now. Perhaps Frodo mentioned it somewhere.

There is so much to talk about but I'm running out of paper! Let's see - the rest of the dwarves were all right, the singing good, the plate-tossing quite amusing (though I fretted through the whole thing!), the appearance of my friend Lindir was nice, oh, and Smaug! What a clever idea to avoid showing him throughout the film. It made for interesting shots during the battle. And his large eye opening at the end! Sent a shiver down my spine. I look forward to seeing the dragon in his entirety, but only on film! I should never like to meet a live dragon again.

I suppose that about does it! I'll likely remember something I wanted to say after I send this off - I'm getting old now! I hope you all have a merry holiday season and happy New Year! Sílo Anor bo men lín! May the sun shine on your road!

---

Arda here! I saw The Hobbit the Sunday after it came out and loved it! It was so wonderful to go back to Middle-Earth and see familiar places and characters. But now we have to wait a whole year! Well, we waited even longer for this one so I suppose we'll make it. Anyway, Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all! May the Lord be with you!

Star Wars: Celebration VI - My Experience

So I said a while ago that my brother and I were going to Star Wars: Celebration VI! We went on Friday and Saturday and it was really really cool.

Since it seemed weird to me that my last several posts have just been me talking, I got Captain Rex to recap part of it for me! Take it away, Rex.

Captain Rex: Thank you sir. Once Arda and her brother got in the convention center and picked up their badges, they headed right up to the exhibition hall, where the 501st Legion was holding their Troop-Athlon. It's a competition we sometimes have amongst us Clones, and these Stormtroopers I keep hearing about (there were a few other troopers, Bounty Hunters, and even a Jawa involved as well).

Anyway, each team has to complete various challenges while in full armor. Now I don't mean to complain, but this stuff we got has its problems - lack of peripheral vision and maneuverability just a couple. Actually, they had this saying there, something like "Can't see, can't sit, can't shoot." Now again, I'm grateful to the Republic for the armor we have, and it has improved, but...well, I suppose that saying they have is pretty accurate. You get used to it though, and once you go through all the training on Kamino you tend to forget about the shortcomings a lot of the time. Until one of your brothers walks straight into a door, but that doesn't happen too often.

I'm getting off track - a few of the challenges were the Ewok toss (one team member tossing stuffed Ewoks to another), using a Death Star bowling ball (keep seeing this Death Star around - wonder what it is) to knock over pins with Representative Binks drawn on them (I must admit I got a chuckle out of that. Arda'll be mad if she found out though), and riding a segway through a short course. The crowd seemed to enjoy it, and I'm sure some of these guys will be hearing their fellow trooper's opinions on how they did in the barracks.

The course where both the Troop-Athlon and Droid Races took place.

Thanks Rex! (Heh, I think he had more fun than he's letting on.) Next, a bunch of the girls from The Lakehouse Forums met up - it was so cool to meet online friends, and somewhat surreal as well! We hung out for a while, then went to a special Her Universe cupcake party we had been invited to. There were some TCW cast members there which was really cool - I was too shy to say much, but I was with my friends as they talked to Dee Bradley Baker and Matt Lanter, and I saw Dave Filoni (should have tried to talk to him - he's so cool!) and Tom Kane (also saw Ashley's husband David Eckstein, but didn't realize it until later). Then toward the end, we all got to talk to Ashley herself! I've heard people say she's really good at remembering people, but I was surprised that she recognize me from our brief meeting two years ago at the last Celebration! Her support of TLF has been amazing, and it was so nice of her to spend time with us. After the party most of the TLF girls went to wait in line for the Clone Wars premiere. I waited with them but ducked out to join my brother, who had gone to a panel called the Obscure Character Face-Off, before the show started, and after a bit of hanging around the exhibit hall, called we it a day.

On Saturday we didn't go to too many events, but it was still fun. The first part of the day I spent doing photo shoots with the TLF girls. There were a bunch of neat props in the exhibit hall that we posed with - a random Stormtrooper joined us for a couple pictures as well.

My brother and I spent the rest of the day in the exhibit hall, 501st room, droid builder's room, and just looking around, me taking random pictures once in a while. We did get to see some TLF friends one more time before saying goodbye, which was nice. Before we left, we did a bit of shopping - he got a volume of Star Wars Tales and I bought a Her Universe shirt and a couple Jedi Apprentice books (only $5 for two of them!). There were also these Galactic passports that you could take to the different publisher booths and get them stamped - that was pretty cool. Then we basically wandered around a bit before heading out.

Meeting and hanging out with my online friends was definitely the highlight of my weekend. It was really neat to see people I knew from online, and that includes others like costumers and SW celebs I had seen pictures of. When I went to Celebration V, I didn't know or know of too many SW fans so now it was really cool to have friends there and recognize people from the internet. And like last time, there were a bunch of great costumes and it was so fun to watch everyone! I kind of wish we could have seen more panels, but it was still an awesome weekend and I'm so glad we were able to go.

And now for pictures! Here are some others I took:

There was a small collection of items from Rancho Obi-Wan, including the Great Holocron! My Jedi-obsessed self was really excited to see this - I didn't even know a real version existed!

As I was taking a couple pictures of this mannequin, I start to hear heavy breathing behind me. Really heavy breathing. So I turn around and there's a live Vader standing over me saying, "She's taking pictures of a mannequin, for crying out loud!" Whoops, didn't see you there, my lord...

Just cool. I love Star Wars fans.

In the droid builder's room - R2D2 and Leia's message!

This was in the Rebel Legion area. I want one of these!

Also in the Rebel Legion area. It's so cool how you can imagine you're in the galaxy far, far away there, like this seemed like it could be from the rebel base on Hoth.

Bail Organa! I was so excited to see him - his costume was awesome and he really looked the part too. He said to vote for him in November. Guess who my write-in candidate for Senator is...

One more from the Rebel Legion area - should have leaned on this and tried to sell some death sticks.

Yes, this was in the exhibit hall, and yes, I had to take a picture of it. What an awesome Gandalf mold!

One last shot from the doors of the convention center with a bunch of Sith taking pictures together. Seeing this makes me really miss this place.

Oh yes! And I promised to show you the Jedi costume I was making! I give you, the headless Jedi-man!...girl...person...(ok just look at it):

I wore it Saturday of the convention. It still needs some work (I finished the sewing only a night or two before the con!) but I'm happy with how it turned out and it was fun to wear.

So there is my somewhat long, hopefully entertaining report of Star Wars: Celebration VI! Thank you all for reading, and may the Lord and the Force be with you!

Gollum on The Clone Wars: Brothers

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS. 
Gollum is a guide of the lands north and west of Mordor and an informant for multiple powers in Middle-Earth.  He is a fishing enthusiast and a skilled waterman, this feat being recognized by King Elessar himself.  When he is not fishing or searching for his precious, Gollum enjoys inventing riddles.

You didn't think we watched The Clone Wars, did you, precious?  Yes, yes, we watch it.  The wizard, the one who interrogates poor Sméagol [Gandalf], we heard that in some video games he is voiced by Tom Kane, who plays Yoda, yes?

What?  Noooo, don't hurt poor Sméagol for breaking the...hm?  The "fourth wall"?  What's the "fourth wall," eh?

The short blogger wanted us to write this before because the episode reminded her of us, precious.  Mmm, it reminds her very much of us.  But we are getting ahead of ourselves.

Sméagol had a nice time watching this episode.  It wasn't our favourite, but we likes it much better than watching the fat hobbit in our movies.

This episode finally has Darth Maul in it.  The short blogger doesn't understand why he is not dead.  Sméagol understands.  Where we come from, many come back to life, yes they do, precious.  Like Wraiths, and the Eye, and the wizard, yes, they all came back once.  But they have magic.  Does Darth Maul have magic, precious?  We doesn't know.  It could have come back with dark magic, or maybe it just doesn't need it's bottom half.

For so many long years, Darth Maul was living in this strange place.  We lived in a cave for a very long time too.  Much longer than it did.  But we are not as crazy, are we, precious?  We wonders what made it insane.  Hate?  Yes, yes, that may be.  It hates the Jedi who took Darth Maul's legs and its position.  Just like we hates Baggins.  He stole our precious!  We hates it!  Hates it!  Forever!  AHHHHH!

Mm, yes, we will go on.

We thought the episode would be good joined with the next one, mmm, or having more story included.  Many of the scenes added something, yes, but didn't amount to much.  But Sméagol is patient and still enjoys it.

Sméagol likes the snake.  It is funny.  We would like someone to bring us things to eat like it does.  Nice rabbits and crunchable birdses!  We are tired of orcses.  And we would like a friend.  Yes, Sméagol would like a friend.

The fat hobbit doesn't count.

That is all we have to say.  We liked the episode, but not as much as the Mon Calamari arc.  Lots of fishess in those, yes precious!  May the precioussss be with you!

The New Master of In Western Lands!

Yesssss!  Precious, precious, my precious, oh my precious!!!  We has it!  The Precious!  We has taken over In Western Lands!

We are now very strong!  We are the master!  Lord Sméagol!  Gollum the Great!  The Gollum!  Yes, we will be called The Gollum!

Fissh, now we has nice fish!  Look!  Look at the sidebar!  Nice, juicy, beautiful fissh!  All for ourselfs, precious!  We doesn't have to share it with the fat hobbit, no precious.  We takes the fish for ME!

But good Sméagol will keep the blog running.  Good Sméagol always helps.  He even has an episode review, yes, from The Clone Wars.  Soon it will be posted.  Later, but very soon, precious.

Hmm, what else can we talk about?  Does it like riddles?  Maybe we gives it a riddle to solve?

What has roots...no.

Alive without breath...no.

Ah!  We has it.

High to low, then back again,
In darkened forest, stuck in pen.
Out at last and finally free,
To get back what belongs to me.

I guide and wait while planning all,
That those I guide will soon befall.
I'll bide my time and then attack,
So I can get my treasure back.

But then a new pursuit I found,
An easy way to be renowned.
This very day I hold new weight,
And that is why I am now great.

Who am I?

Difficult, tricksy yes?  Think it can solve our riddle?  Guess!  Yes, guess in the comments!  We'll tell when someone has it right, so don't look if it doesn't want to be spoiled!

While it thinks we are going to have some fissh.  May the precioussss be with you!  Hee hee hee hee!

---

Note from Arda: Thanks for bearing with my April Fool's Day silliness! If you weren't around the time or wish to relive the glory of Gollum's temporary reign, here's what my blog looked like:

click to see larger

Padmé on "Shadow Warrior"

(source)

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS.
Padmé Amidala is a senator for Naboo in the Galactic Senate.  When she was fourteen she was elected queen and led her people through the Naboo Crisis.  She has been on many missions of diplomacy for the Republic in the Clone Wars and is respected as a great supporter of democracy.

I would have written this sooner but lately I have been tied up in special sessions of Congress.  We are considering a motion to defer more powers to the Chancellor.  However, I was able to snag some time this weekend to view the latest episode.  As is clear, this one was more personal for me than the previous episodes of season four.  There are many things that could be said on the episode, but here are a few things I would like to mention.

While the Mon Calamari arc portrayed Jar Jar and the Gungans as warriors, this showed a bit more of the light side of their nature.  I must admit that I was laughing a bit as Jar Jar, disguised as Boss Lyonie, tried to keep Grievous from finding out what was going on--and from killing him.  Perhaps more seriousness would have been called for in the situation, but Jar Jar must have been very frightened.

This was my first time seeing how the Gungan army managed to capture Grievous.  To be honest, I found it slightly unrealistic that they were be able to overcome him, his two lightsabers, and advanced training.  It seems we have all underestimated the Gungans.  I am thankful to have them not only as allies, but as friends.

Their capture was not without cost.  During the struggle, Grievous killed General Tarpals.  He was instrumental in the Battle of Naboo and his loss was a great one.  After a few days of recovery, we held a traditional Gungan funeral for him, honoring his sacrifice for Naboo and the Republic, and mourning him as our friend.

As I'm sure you can imagine, the choice between holding Grievous or exchanging him for Master Skywalker broke my heart.  In war, we are too often forced to choose between duty and personal feelings.  If the Republic had Grievous in custody, we might have been able to end the war.  But in the end, Jar Jar and Boss Lyonie convinced me.  They were right--I don't think I could have ever forgiven if Anakin died because of me.

Something that I found unsettling as I watched the episode were the words the Sith spoke to Count Dooku.  It seemed he knew that in this case I would put duty aside.  How?  What does he know about me?

On a lighter note, for all of you wondering where Boss Nass was, do not worry--he is alive and in good health.  He attended General Tarpals' funeral and afterward had some time to catch up with Anakin and me.  I will always be grateful for his help in defeating the Trade Federation all those years ago.

I suppose that's all for now.  Wish us luck in the Senate--I pray that we will be able to come to a resolution on the additional powers within the next couple of days.  Hopefully then I will be able to watch Friday's episode and see how C3P0 and R2D2 fared on their relief mission.  May the Force be with you all!

Jar Jar Binks on "Prisoners"

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THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS.
Jar Jar Binks represents his people, the Gungans, in the Galactic Senate.  He was a general and hero in the Invasion of Naboo and is bravely serving the Republic in our war through negotiation.  He lives in Otoh Gunga, Naboo.

Hello!  Mesa called Jar Jar Binks!  Mesa doing dis guest post thingy for Arda, who doesn't weally have anything to say on de episode.

[Hey!  I've got stuff to say!  Like...um...Kit Fisto had a good line.  Well...he stole it from Indiana Jones.]

About de eels!  Oh nosa!  Dos eels were bad!  Wesa starting to get berry scared in dare.  Padme almost drowning!  Luckily mesa got a few tricks up mesa sleeve...

[Yeah, that was cool and all, and great that you saved Padme, but...it was a little gross.]

Yosa seen nothin.  Yosa ever been to da core?

[Of Naboo?  I guess technically not...]

Dey got muy slimy fishes down dare.  Yosa no wantin to go dare.

[I'll keep that in mind.]

Good!  Weell, lots of tings did happen in de episode!  Like Lee-Char uniting da people against da Separatists!

[That was pretty brave.  Turning against the Separatists was a big risk for the Quarren; they knew how ruthless Dooku and Tamson were.  And Lee-Char asking them to do that--]

Exactly!  And he let himself be taken just so he talk to...ah...

[Let me open Wookieepedia...Nossor Ri!]

Dat's it!  And den Captain Ackbar could get the armies together!

[IT'S A TRAP!]

What yousa saying?

[Never mind, that hasn't happened yet.]

Anyways, day all got together at de execution--

[The bad guys should really learn that these public executions are perfect opportunities for escape.  And they should read the Evil Overlord List.]

And dey blasting de Separatists aways!

[Yay!...*has nothing to say*]

Yosa no liken de episode?

[No, I liked it fine, just...I like Lee-Char, but prefer the ones that are more Jedi-centered, the ones I'm more emotionally invested in.  With Anakin and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.]

Dey weally couldn't do much here.  Dis is really Lee-Char's battle.

[Yeah...it was really more about him gaining confidence and growing into his role as king of Mon Calamari.  That was pretty nice.]

Dis a good message for all da younglings!  Believe is youse self, don't be giving up, and be willing to give yoself up for youse people!

[Aww, that was nice Jar Jar.  Looks like you might be doing dat - I mean that - in the next episode.]

Well, mesa does have a role in it.  And Ani dos too!  But he's looking hurt.

[Yeah, poor guy never gets a break does he?]

Noo...poor Ani!  Mesa hate to see him get zapped by dos eels.  And next week he's getting zapped again!

[Yep...well, any closing thoughts?]

Mesa just wanting to tank all of yousa for reading mesa review.  Mesa ask for all of yours support during dis galactic war.  In de Senate, we are working muy hard to protect de Republic and end de war.  But Padme never keeps around good snacks.  So if dare is anyone who wants to donate, Arda will be setting up de donations box on de side bar so yousa can just--

[Jar Jar!]

But--but mesa doing nothing!

Anakin Skywalker on "Water War" and "Gungan Attack"

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THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS.
Guest blogger Anakin Skywalker is a Jedi Knight and general in the Grand Army of the Republic.  He is known as the "Hero Without Fear" and is held in high esteem by the Supreme Chancellor.  When not on the battle field, he lives on Coruscant training his apprentice, Ahsoka Tano.

Well, this new season of The Clone Wars sure started with a bang.  Two episodes, both describing our struggle to keep Mon Calamari out of Separatist hands.  I had one of my rare quiet days today, so my good friend Senator Amidala and I got together to watch the episodes.  I've got to say, Dave Filoni and his crew are doing an incredible job of bringing you these documentaries of the Clone Wars.  The animation in this episode was particularly impressive - the simple things like the clouds and water were very realistic for being animated, and the explosion of our ship was well done.  Even though I didn't exactly want to see that again.

Last season put more emphasis on what was going on away from the front lines, but this season brings you right back.  The second battle of Mon Calamari was a conflict with a unique element - most of it took place underwater.  Luckily, Master Fisto, Ahsoka and I already had lightsabers built or modified to work when wet.  Regular lightsabers would short out.

Also, to set the record straight, I learned to swim not long after coming to the Jedi Temple and have since become as accomplished as Senator Amidala, who grew up swimming on Naboo.

But back to the battle, as you saw, it wasn't easy.  It was supposed to be peaceful negotiations between the Mon Cala and the Quarren.  But once the Separatists got the Quarren stirred up, negotiations came to a dead stop, even with the diplomatic Senator Amidala there.  And the battle that followed...it's a shame that so many of the Mon Calamarian people were taken captive or killed as the Separatists attempted to take another world.

That young prince, Lee-Char - he's a good kid.  Completely unprepared for the role he's been forced to take, but with Captain Ackbar and myself advising him, he's doing all right.  He's going through a lot, dealing with the grief of losing his father, and now in danger of losing his people as he's thrust into the middle of the war.  I saw that my Padawan Ahsoka was doing a good job of not only protecting him, but encouraging and advising him as well.

Ahsoka has really grown.  She's gained a lot of wisdom since she became a Padawan.  Hearing her today on the show reminded me of just how much she's matured.  I told her to take the Prince somewhere safe and lie low...and she did.  If I told her to do this when she had just graduated from the Temple, she would have done anything but lie low.  These battles have taught her a lot about how even though the Jedi are powerful warriors, fighting is not always the best move.  There is wisdom in waiting and watching (man, Obi-Wan's going to be thrilled to hear me saying this).

This Friday is the conclusion to this arc on the second battle of Mon Calamari.  If you've seen the preview, you know that after I got captured with Senator Amidala, Master Fisto, and Representative Binks, things got a little rough.  But you're going to have to wait and see what happens this week.

May the Force be with you.

This post was inspired by Father Longenecker at Standing on My Head and his hilarious, informative, and very creative "alter egos".